Not ‘It’…!

Victim. It’s a big word, and not a word that can be discussed (anywhere NEAR) completely in a five to eight paragraph blog post, but it’s a word that’s been on my heart for a minute, so I thought I’d share some of what I’ve been noodling on.

I like to look up definitions of words, so before I started writing, I looked up the word “victim” in Webster’s dictionary. “Victim” is defined as, “one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent.” Webster’s goes on to say, “Such as: one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions, one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment, one that is tricked or duped.”

Then, I pivoted to synonyms of the word “victim.” Words that Webster’s puts in the same bucket as “victim” are: casualty, fatality, loss and prey.


One of my biggest pet-peeves is when I see someone use adversity as an excuse. Adversity is NOT an excuse…it should actually be a reason to try harder and to do better. When I read all of the words above that Webster’s gave me to work with around the word “victim,” the only word I find in myself is “hardship.” My disability is a hardship, yes, but I am not oppressed, or destroyed, or sacrificed. I am not a casualty, or a loss.

My disability makes things harder to do. Truth. All that means is that my adversity requires me to try harder to do the same or more than anyone else. I will be disabled for the rest of my life. And I can be disabled on the couch, at home, watching Dr. Phil…OR, I can be disabled out in the world, trying harder, and having a life. My hardship does not make me a victim, and I won’t behave like one.

Whatever you are facing in life today that is causing you hardship, grief, angst or frustration – DO NOT let it make a victim out of you. You’re too good for that. Instead, try harder. Be better. Use it to fuel you to reach a goal. Life throws us a thousand things a day that we could allow to get in our way and that we could use as an excuse. Giving in to that – THAT is the definition of a victim. But we…we are fighters, warriors and success stories…write a chapter right now that will showcase what you’re made of!

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Mindy Henderson

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